Can we talk about.......

Adam Scott!!!! Well not really talk, just look. I think I have converted a few friends into AS fans after my "List" post. So I thought, we need some more pics to make us smile on this lovely Friday afternoon.

Have a great weekend!
Diane

Jealousy

I was never a jealous person, for a very long time. I never had anything to be jealous about when it came to men I was dating. I always trusted them, and never worried about other women. Well my friends, not anymore. I know the exact moment I became a jealous person, and from then on there was no looking back. I've converted over to "jealous" being a part of me. I truely wish I could not look at situations with a suspicious eye, but it's my nature now.

I know I can't stop someone I'm dating from straying, cheating, leaving me. It is out of my control. If thats what he chooses to do, he will do it. My reactions, words, and worry will not stop a man from hurting me. So, there is no point in getting jealous, its a waste of my energy and emotional upheavel. But, there is no rationale to how I feel. I can't explain it.

Last night I got jealous, and I thought I had a valid reason to be, at the time. Today, after careful thought, maybe I was overreacting a bit. I can't help it though!!!! :)

Tis the Season.......

I'm lovin the holidays this year. Surprising actually considering that I'm VERY single, and have had such an interesting past year. I was prepping myself to hit a huge wall of depression come December, being that it's my 31st BDay and the in pending loneliness that comes with Christmas. Last year, I honestly didn't celebrate Christmas except for on the 25th. I didn't put up my tree, no decorations, no Christmas music. I just ignored it at all costs. BUT, this year I'm deep in the middle of it! I wake up in the morning with Christmas songs in my head. I don't really listen to any other music right now.

I guess I'm embracing where I am in life right now. I can enjoy this season with no attachments, no one else to worry about. I like it. 

Dating Advice

This made me laugh :)
Yahoo Shine IMPOSSIBLE Dating tips.

Happy Birthday to ME

I sought for Love
But Love ran away from me.
I sought my Soul
But my Soul I couldn't see.
Then I sought You,
And I found all three.

I feel great this year on my birthday, better than last year. I'm more aware of myself and what I seek in everyday. This will be an amazing 31st year :-)

Timing

I've been thinking about relationships(big surprise), why it works sometimes where you fall in love and why other times it never really launches even though you have great chemistry and all the right ingredients are there for it to be something great, i.e. LOVE. I've done some research on this, not really by choice, but I have come up with a thought on why sometimes it never lifts off. Failure to launch.

I was talking with a guy friend recently. He said something that in the year and a half that I've known him he never mentioned before. "Well, I'm not even going to think about marriage until I'm 30". This idea of his has been in his brain for years now. There is no pressure for him to actively look for the "one". He is happy with being single and not focusing on a relationship. Oh my, why can't I be like that?

What I have realized is that I believe a lot of men have this notion. Maybe not so much a time stamp, just that all the ducks have to be in a row before they even consider settling down. All the ducks in a row can be a number of things; career, money, owning a house, owning a BMW, physically fit, sewing their wild oats, this list goes on and on.  So, if this is true, if they aren't ready and they meet a great girl, like me :), they won't even let the relationship lift off because they know its not the right timing. This sometimes isn't even thought out by men, it is a sub-conscious act.

Meanwhile, here I am, I meet a great guy like Shorty, chemistry-check, humor-check, intelligent-check, kind hearted-check, all the ingredients are there for ME, but not for Shorty. He doesn't even know it, but his launch date is not now, and probably not anytime soon. That might be why he sub-consciously didn't treat me all the great, putting me on low end of his priority list.

It's not just Shorty, there are probably 3 other men, that I liked, we had a lot of the right ingredients, but it wasn't the right time for them. My question is, why is it always the right time for me, but never for them?  I can't do or say or control any of this. I'm just waiting for the right ingredients to match up with the right timing.

The List

I get bored, often. I have devised my list of 5 celebrity men that "if" I were in a relationship, and if I had the opportunity would be granted a "Pass" to hook up with one of these men on the list. If you remember, this was a Friends episode, Ross had Isabella Rossellini on his list, but traded her out, then Isabella walked into Central Perk. Ross went up to her, said she was on his list, she wanted to see the list, but unfortunately she wasn't on it. Ross didn't get lucky :(

After many years of careful thought, weighing on many options, trading out as my tastes have changed. Here it is, in no certain order-------------------------

Adam Scott, Pro Golfer

Joel McHale, Funny Man

Josh Duhamel

Justin Timberlake

Caleb Followill, Kings of Leon

Nervous

WOW, my heart is beating faster, I can't sleep(without a pill), and my mind is racing. Hours till I see a certain someone and I'm a nervous wreck! 

Trying to think of the last time I was this nervous........

Ok, I have never Bungee Jumped, but I'm nervous just thinking about it.

Used to love roller coasters, now, not so much



Yes, I have walked down the aisle, I was nervous, hence maybe the reason I'm not married to that guy anymore

So, breathe Di, keep calm, life is out of my control, I can only control how I react to life. Breathe, Breathe.  I've been doing alot of yoga lately :) that's why all the breathing.

Heading Home

+

Ahhhh, the holidays have begun. Time to make my way north to Tulsa for Thanksgiving. I'm really looking forward to it. To see my friends, and I guess family as well, although they can me a little taxing at times.

I always loved going home to Tulsa when I didn't live there. I loved going out with friends and seeing people I haven't seen in awhile. It's fun.

I also have an interesting meeting/date with an old flame. I'm trying not to over analyze that situation too much. Just have fun, catch up. Problem is, I'm totally over analyzing, too a point that I can't sleep the last few nights. I'm sure my old flame isn't thinking too much about it right now, because, after all he is a man. I'm ready to just see him, and get it over with so I can stop thinking about all the "what ifs".

Really, I should go back to my previous post, and take some of my own advise. You know, If it didn't work out then, could it really work out now????? In my heart-I say yes, in my mind-I say no. HMMMM quite the dilemma.... 

Feelin Good :)

I feel very proud of myself today. The situation with Shorty was still a roller coaster the last few weeks. I really didn't post anything on here because it would be redundant to anyone reading this blog(hi Auds and Susan, my only readers)))). It was redundant in my relationship with Shorty. He was not considerate of my time, always always late. Not 10-15 minutes late, like 45 to a hour late. I still would barely see him, and when we did hang out most of the time he would be preoccupied with his phone or the game on TV.

The last straw was Sunday. We had plans to hangout during the day once my family that was visiting me left. Shorty was MIA for nearly 4 hours. Excuse=Napping.

Last night he came over to see me, and I broke it off. I FEEL GREAT. Best decision I ever made. All his crap just piled up to the point that I just don't like him anymore.

So now I don't have to deal with his crap anymore. His lack of money, he living situation with his PARENTS(Yah!), his lack of time for me. The burden of it is lifted off me.

Quotes

I loved the book Eat, Pray, Love. I read it last year at a point in my life that I was alone, and down over a man that had hurt me. There are a few quotes that I relate to so much that I often think about when the cards are not playing in my favor with a man. Here are the ones that pretty much discribe me to a tee:

"I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism."

"If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will protect upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else."


"This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something. "

I can't wait to see the movie, missed it in the Theater, so waiting for DVD.

One Day at a Time

So, I took things wrong, again. Since my last post "we" have been great! I might be over dramatic at points. Its a big step for me to admit I'm dramatic. I've always thought of myself as an easy going girl, low maintenance. But I guess somewhere along the way.....probably in the last year....I have started taking situations with men a little too seriously, or literally, or emotionally. Not really sure. I'm thinking I need to chill out.
Ways for me to CHILL OUT:

By far my favorite way to CHILL OUT:

Committed

I'm not any ones girlfriend just yet. But I want to know, when I am, what are the rules?  I said about a week ago that I'm not going to communicate with other men, but that was a little pre-mature. I have texted some past boyfriends, and I did meet a guy last Saturday night. Oh and that was nothing, trust me, but I did talk to this guy at a bar. And I have every right to do these things right now, Shorty has not taken that step to say we are in a relationship. When he does though, I can't be doing what I have been doing. And, I gotta say, it will be hard. I have been single for over a year now, I have single habits, ie texting men, flirting when I go out, seeing old boyfriends on occasion. So all that has to stop at some point, right?  Well, I'm pretty sure I'm ready to throw those habits out the door for Shorty. Pretty Sure.......NO......Definitely Sure! Yes, I can and will be strong. :)

Have Him At Hello

I learned of this book, Have Him At Hello from Oprah.com yesterday. I downloaded a sample on my Kindle App. Its just the first chapter but I'm already very intrigued by the author, Rachel Greenwald's ideas on dating and relationships. So, I've decided to order the hard copy book from Amazon. Can't wait to dig into this book.

Rachel is a professional matchmaker, and a successful one. She has done research on why men choose or not choose their mate. So far, as I understand from the first chapter, finding the "one" requires you to tweak some of your dating habits. Not change who you are, just think of the first date as a job interview. I agree with this idea.

I will let you know how the whole book turns out after reading. It may be a while, bear in mind, reading books lately has been taking me 3-4 months to finish. HAHAHA

Falling, Falling, Falling

It is getting better. I'm feeling my heart again. Shorty is and has been amazing. I'm one happy girl right now. So this is my heaven: Sunday mornings, lazy, sleep, laugh, pancakes, sleep, kiss, music, angry birds, kiss, sleep.

Well Dressed Man

Last night I saw Shorty in a Suit. And WOW, that was amazing. I just love when a man knows how to dress, and Shorty does. So I was thinking, what can a man wear that make most women swoon??? Here are my favorites ))) Enjoy my friends, Enjoy.

Classic, nice

Out of all the sport uniforms, Baseball is by far the sexiest

Classic, Simple White T

Cowboy, Rugged is Hot



Go Rangers!!

Our Great Seats at the Rangers!

Saturday was probably the best day I've had in a long time!  Planned to have a date with Shorty on Saturday night. Friday night, I met Shorty out. He wanted me to meet his friend that was in town. The three of us had a drink and hung out at a patio bar. Shorty said his boss gave him tickets to the Rangers Saturday game against the Yankees. This is a playoff game, its a huge deal, and I coveted ticket to get in Dallas. My first thought was, there goes our Saturday date, he is going to the game and now flaking on my again. But, yes BUT, he asked me to go with him!!! He said his friends will kill him for not inviting any of them, but he really wanted to go with me. I'm thinking in "guy world" taking a girl to a MLB playoff game is a huge deal. Right?

So, needless to say, it was a great date, great game, Rangers WON!, and great day. We had a blast. And, Shorty really opened up, we talked about "us", which he brought up. I'm feeling really great with where this is heading. I want to be with him. And he is finally catching up to me in the "feelings" department.

I've decided to stop talking to other men. Because 1. All the other men I do talk to are worthless anyway 2. I really only want Shorty, I don't think about anyone else anymore 3. I'm sooooooo done with being that girl that has 4 guys in continuous text conversations.

I'm not changing my Facebook status just yet to "in a relationship", and I'm not calling Shorty my BF, but I'm now somewhere in the middle of "single girl" or "girlfriend", and I'm liking being somewhere in the middle. I'm just enjoying my life right now. And I'm not putting any pressure on Shorty. If it happens it happens, if not, than not.

Date Night!!!-with no date ((((

(Meant to post this on friday, delayed)
I don't mind, really I don't. I rather be at home cleaning my closet than out drinking too much with people I don't like or on a date with a guy that I don't find interesting, just out with him so I had a date on friday night. No, I really honestly rather clean my closet. OK, OK, I really would like to be hanging with Shorty, but he is busy tonight, our date is tomorrow. Looking forward to that :) Here is a  pic of what I hope will happen tomorrow night......

Pi Phi T-Shirt

This is a text conversation I had last night with a guy who I dated about a month and a half ago. I really did like him but he pulled the old "MIA" after a few weeks. I thought this was funny because I just started lying to him when he didn't know who I was.  ---(these are my comments)

Diane: i never think about you
MIA: ha, who is this? my phone decided to go swimming in a pool recently.
D: you know a ton of people from 918---(my tulsa area code)?
M: Broken Arrow or Bartlesville? ----(neighboring towns of tulsa)
D: WOW
M: Jenks, Muskogee? I have no idea. Just googled 918. I do like this game though.
D: Let me refresh ur memory. We had a one nite stand and it was the best nite of my life. Soooo Hot. ---(lie)
M: So this is a girl....from somewhere in northeastern Oklahoma...w/ a flare for sarcasm.
D: your warm
M: I give up
D: Idiot or Asshole?
M: Just messing with you. I have your pi phi shirt by the way. are you out tonight? I'm watching what about bob in bed. -----(By the way, i've never been in a sorority so that wouldn't be my Pi Phi shirt)
D: Oh god I've been missing my pi phi shirt. ----(lie) Im home now.
M: Don't you have like 40 of them? Not a bad trade for "the best night of your life" right?
D: I need that shirt back. Its part of my amazing collection of sorority shirts that I will pass on to my grandchildren
M: I'm having it framed in a shadowbox to commemorate things
D: Oh, to remember the best on night stand ever?!?!? I like that. I will be waiting for the UPS man to deliver it.     God I miss phi pi. Good times. Good times.
M: I'm keeping it... on my wall....between sorority T's of my conquests from Muskogee and Bartlesville.
D: Nice. OK girls are easy. Be proud of your many OK conquests. I am proud that I'm a slutty sorority girl.
M: Wanna do it again?
D: Oh yeah
D; Come over
D: Now
M: No wheels till tomorrow. You come here. ASAP
D: MIA!!!!!
M: Stalemate, sucks
D: Ok honestly. Who do you think this is?
D: Names!?!?
M: Now I'm worried. Why don't you just tell me??
D: Hint. Thats not my phi pi shirt. so not that girl
M: I really don't have a clue who this could be. I have like 4 numbers in this phone. It was fun playing 20 questions though. Night.
D: Chicken Shit
M: Who IS this??
D: HAHA
M: DCW----(im guessing some other girls initials)
D: Diane, God
D: More of a player than I thought
M: Good God. Threw me. Was more than a one night stand.
D: I liked F%$^ing with ya. It was entertainment :-) night
M: Ah the delights of phone loss and sex with girls from Oklahoma. Messing with you too. I once got to third base with a girl from Henryetta. Did take ma about ten texts though. Fun. Night night.


He is an idiot. Never talking to him again.
Happy Friday!!!

Why can't it ever be a clean break????

I just spent 30 minutes trying to find an article I read on-line about breaking up in this day in age. Couldn't find it!!! UGH. But the run down is basically, now with technology, ie Facebook and Texts, its harder and harder for couples to really end things. It always gets dragged on and on because we can view each others FB profiles and send a quick text to start things up again. After I read this article, I realized, I have only one time had a clean breakup(since the invention of FB and Text), all the others still linger for months or years.

So, last night I got a text from my X. This is not just any X, this is the one, he broke my heart over a year ago. We talked marriage, and at our 2 year anniversary it all ended because he couldn't commit. So in this year that we have been broken up there have been texts, me looking him up on FB(seeing him with his new girl)(double ugh), him saying he wanted me back, then slamming the door in my face. Its a long, and very painful story of "us".  I haven't heard from him in 2 months, and now a text. I'm so mad at him for texting. I felt like after all this time I was getting over it, then I get a text and it brings it all back.

My question, would we have had a clean break if it wasn't for FB and cell phones, and texts?  I'm thinking YES. I miss him immeasurably, but the fact that we can somehow communicate so easily is causing me more pain than I need.

OH, and by the way....I didn't text back. Pat on the back to me!

Smitten

I just went on a trip to California for my cousins wedding. It was a nice trip overall, I helped out alot so it wasn't all that relaxing, but I didn't mind.

So I've traveled enough, taking flights by myself, and I have never met anyone on a flight worth even remembering their names. I typically put my headphones on, and try my hardest to not even make small talk with anyone. The trick is never give eye contact, and the moment you sit down only say "hi" then pretend to sleep. I've got it down to a science.

Well, I've never had a seat next to an attractive man, until Monday on my flight home. I saw him in the aisle before he even sat down, and I thought in my head, "please god, have his assigned seat next to mine". Well, he sat down right next to me and started talking to me. He was a bit cocky, but outgoing and funny.

Needless to say, I was shocked when the announcement was made to prepare for landing. That was the fastest 3 hour flight of my life. We talked the entire time. 

Before landing, County Boy(remember I like to not reveal actual names), asked if I would have a drink with him at the airport. He had a connecting flight but had sometime for a drink. I sorta hesitated, but said I would. His flight was soon, so we didn't have a lot of time. But as we had a drink, his flight kept getting delayed. So, he finally had to get on his plane, we hugged goodbye, I started to walk away, and he grabbed me and said he had to kiss me, and it was AWESOME! Felt like out of a movie. :)

So, I'm Smitten. I mean, this was a chance meeting, and I can't stop thinking about him. We are now friends on FB, and he asked for my phone number, and has text me. He lives in Nashville, so I don't think anything can come from this. Oh, and another small detail I have left out, he is 23, I am 30. He is an aspiring country singer/songwriter. This has TROUBLE written all over it. But, I liked it, it was romantic, he is very attractive, he is talented, he is fun, he is different, and that's the best part.

Nothing will come from this, but it was a good story.......

So Tell Me if This is a Bad Idea?

An X, lets call him Kiki(I know funny name, but its all I can come up with), has invited me to come visit him at his parents vacation home in Carmel California. Yep, the gorgeous spot shown above. I love Carmel, and we went there last year together, and had a great time. Are 3 month relationship last year was a roller coaster. We progressed quickly, too quickly, moved in together, then it all ended for many reasons. We have been texting for the last month now, and I know he truly does care about me. Its probably not going to work if we try again, but I would like to see him, and would love to go to Carmel. Bad Idea?

Friday Night

This is what I WISH I was doing.........

This is what I will end up doing.

Drinking and Texting Don't Mix

If I had one major issue with dating, its this...........drinking and texting. It's my weakness, give me a glass of wine, and please take my phone away from me. I get this since of "bravery", and I rationalize why I need to text this man RIGHT NOW. Oh how many mornings I wake, roll over and check my phone, "ohhhhh, why did I text him that?".

Last night I was like an addict needing my fix. I texted 3, yes, 3 men last night. Only one replied, Shorty. Which is the only one that should have. The other 2 are not even worth my time or text, but last night I rationalized that I needed to loose any dignity I still had left. I literally thought "who cares at this point what the think about me, I want to text them". So this morning I woke, rolled over, and there they were, 2 texts to men that didn't not reply(which I immediately deleted, I don't want to have that reminder). Do I feel good about myself today? NO. That was just stupid and pointless. Thanks to the 3 glasses of wine and the so called "bravery". You made my day :)

And, yes, I didn't see Shorty last night, even though he had said he wanted to take me to some BDay party. His sister had a baby, which he knew before hand was going to happen on Thursday because the birth was scheduled. But he said he would be free from family obligations by nighttime and he wanted to see me. As many times before, he was wrong. He didn't even call me. I texted him(haha, yep drunk text) at 9. His reply was nice enough, that he was still with family and stuff about the baby. But why couldn't he call me or at least text me at some point in the evening to let me know he was not able to go to the BDay party, and not able to see me?  Yet again, I will let this one slide.